Real friends do not get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive!
Parents asked college watchman, ‘Is this a good college? ‘ Watchman: Probably the best. I did my engineering here and got campus placement!
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
I was counting the stars one night, for a reason to love you, I was doing great until I ran out of stars!
Boy1: Yesterday I was too drunk to drive home. Boy2: So what did you do? Boy1: I drove to another party!