Apologize to anyone I have not offended
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Never wrestle a pig
Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
Get a glass belly button
Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to.
I am not saying I hate
I am not saying I hate you. I am just saying if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus.
You get plenty of exercise jumping
You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the issue.
Swear because love is definitely blind
When somebody who is deeply in Love with you tells that You are cute, beautiful, & angelic, I agree. That’s true, Believe me, I swear because love is definitely blind
I have decided to add extensive
I have decided to add ‘extensive experience in dealing with stupid people’ to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!