Dont yell at me to get a grip unless

I might look calm, but in my head I have killed you a number of times.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
If your face had ‘Welcome’ written on it, it would make a perfect doormat
Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to.
I hate two-faced people because it’s harder for me to decide as to which side to slap first.