Annoy for the rest of your life

Thought of the day: Nothing brings your neighbours close to your family, like a fight between you and your wife!
Bride: Mu hubby is perfectly wonderful to me, mother. He gives me everything I ask for. Mother: That merely shows, my dear child, that you are not asking enough!
The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or wear is… a mother-in-law who always notices what you cook and what you wear!
Weekend Special: Wife: We must enjoy our Saturdays and Sundays. Husband: Good idea! I will see you on Monday!
Before marriage, A man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; After marriage, He will go to sleep before you finish saying it.
You just cannot compare marriage and lottery. In lottery, there’s, at least a slim chance you will win!