The Man Who Never In His Life

Why is a bachelor skinny and a married man fat? -The Bachelor comes home, takes one look at what’s in the refrigerator, and goes to bed. -The Married man comes home, takes one look at what’s in the bed and goes to refrigerator
My wife is so sweet, every day she asks me what I want to have for dinner and then tells me to get it packed on the way back home!
You are the bone of my bones Who I love for my wife. The flesh of my flesh And my partner in life.
Wife to maid: I Think my husband ‘s having an affair with his secretary. Maid: you are only saying it to make me jealous.
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue, O my darling! I love you… After Marriage: Roses are dead, I have flu, do not come near me, Paray hatt tuu,
A woman to her friend: The only thing in the world, me & my mother-in-law agree upon is that my husband should have married someone else!