My kids have two volumes - Mute when sleeping and Metallica when awake!
A man had 'I LOVE YOU' tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. 'There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth', she said.
The wrong kind of people hate you, for the good in you; And the right kind of people love you, even after knowing the bad in you. That makes the perfect definition of a relationship!
I have decided to add extensive
I have decided to add 'extensive experience in dealing with stupid people' to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill!