One day I caught myself smiling

The day I get my driving license is the day you ‘accidentally’ get hit by a car.
Fact: You Cannot Breathe Fast And Hard While Your Tongue Is Out And Your Mouth Is Open
I have taken up photography because it’s the only hobby where I can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail!
Wherever you are, may you have a reason to smile today!
I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works
Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.