Sometimes I make a mental

You do not actually love a person unless you occasionally want to kill them!
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I had any loose fitting clothing, I would not have signed up in the first place!
You may not believe this but sometimes the person you want doesn’t actually deserve you!
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world!
Flattery – Cologne water, to be smelled of but not swallowed!
My kids have two volumes – Mute when sleeping and Metallica when awake!