Stop me if you have heard this one

Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women”s husbands.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
The Secret of Happy Married Life… Is Still a SECRET.
I will marry the girl, who looks pretty in her Aadhaar Card!
We must stop assuming that a thing which has never been done before probably cannot be done at all!
A man can be happy with any woman as long as she is not his wife!