A wife is essential to great longevity; she is the receptacle of half a man’s cares, and two-thirds of his ill-humor.
Half of the problems in life are because we act without thinking; And the rest half are because we keep on thinking without acting!
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I am half dead.
The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.
Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked!
Where were you? I have been waiting for almost half an hour. . . . . . Said no girl ever!