Mother will not allow me to go so far

I am a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend I KILL YOU FOR FREE!!
Life is not a box of chocolates; It’s more like a jar of jalapenos; What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow!
If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. Good Morning!
Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where are you going? Man: I am going to listen lecture on ill effects of drinking. Cop: Who will lecture at midnight ?? Man: My wife?
A baby fish asked her mother: Y can’t we live on earth? Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it’s made for selfish.
Your future is defined by what you do today, not tomorrow. Good Day!