Let it be very clear

I hate two-faced people because it’s harder for me to decide as to which side to slap first.
I think the sun shines out of your arse. Well, you are living proof that even a turd can be polished.
May be you should eat some makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside.
Hey! Can you do me a favour, take a pic of urself and send it to me. I am Playing cards and i am mising the JOKER!!!
You started at the bottom… and it’s been downhill ever since!
He doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘fear’ – but then again he doesn’t know the meaning of most words