Guy Quotes

Marriage

A drunk man arrives

A drunk man arrives late at home. He knows his wife will not open the door, so he decides to pretend he bought her flowers and knocks at the door. Wife: Who is it? Drunk: I bring flowers for the pretty lady. Wife opens the door and says: Where are the flowers? Drunk: Where is the pretty lady? The guy is recovering from deep injuries!

Insult

A pretty girl can kiss

A pretty girl can kiss a guy; A bird can kiss a butterfly; The rising sun can kiss the grass; But you my ‘friend’, can kiss my ass!

Funny

A guy went for job

A guy went for job interview. HR Manager: Will you be able to work under pressure? Guy: I have a girlfriend. HR Manager: Congratulations! You are hired.

Funny

Need your prayers guys

Need your prayers guys, please remember me when you pray. I am scheduled for an optical appointment next Monday to have my eyes checked and possible procedure. Problems started just after the long Winter Break – every time I look in my wallet, I see nothing!

Flirt

I know you think I am cute

I know you think I am cute, I know you think I am fine, but like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!

Funny

Wake up guys

If Girl In Love Her Parents Ask: Who Is that Idiot? If Boy In Love His Parents Ask: Idiot, Who Is that Girl? wake up guys

Naughty

Whats an average 6

What’s an average 6 inch long Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up? ? ? ? ? A: 1000- rupee currency note. ! Always think positive

Naughty

1 day as I came

1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, ‘Hey buddy, why are you doing that? ‘ He said, ‘Because you came home early. ‘

Funny

For men who believe their wives

For men who believe their wives don’t do much the whole day, guys it’s a tough job updating your ‘Facebook’ status every hour. Respect women!