The real measure of your wealth is how much you had be worth if you lost all your money!
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world!
You do not actually love a person unless you occasionally want to kill them!
Looking for a once in a lifetime experience? Go skydiving with no parachute!
Having celebrity crushes is better than having real life crushes; Because you know for a fact that you do not have a chance!
18 year old boy: Will you marry me? 18 year old girl: Get lost! No! . . . 5 year old boy: Will you marry me? 18 year old girl: OMG! He’s so cute… yes yes I will!
‘I am sorry’ and ‘I apologise’ mean the same thing… except when you are at a funeral!
Flattery – Cologne water, to be smelled of but not swallowed!
A peach of a girl is picked by the man at the top of the ladder!
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I had any loose fitting clothing, I would not have signed up in the first place!