The real measure of your wealth
The real measure of your wealth is how much you had be worth if you lost all your money!
Making me the center of your world
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world!
You do not actually love a person
You do not actually love a person unless you occasionally want to kill them!
Looking for a once in a lifetime
Looking for a once in a lifetime experience? Go skydiving with no parachute!
Having celebrity crushes is better
Having celebrity crushes is better than having real life crushes; Because you know for a fact that you do not have a chance!
18 year old boy
18 year old boy: Will you marry me? 18 year old girl: Get lost! No! . . . 5 year old boy: Will you marry me? 18 year old girl: OMG! He’s so cute… yes yes I will!
I am sorry’ and ‘I apologise’ mean
‘I am sorry’ and ‘I apologise’ mean the same thing… except when you are at a funeral!
Flattery Cologne water
Flattery – Cologne water, to be smelled of but not swallowed!
A peach of a girl is picked
A peach of a girl is picked by the man at the top of the ladder!
I signed up for an exercise class
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I had any loose fitting clothing, I would not have signed up in the first place!