Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!
Boss: Employees like that do not grow on trees you know… You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them…
Real friends do not get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive!
I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.
Housework: No one notices when you do it, but everyone notices when you don’t!
Boy1: Yesterday I was too drunk to drive home. Boy2: So what did you do? Boy1: I drove to another party!
You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.
Sitting at the table does not make you a diner, Unless you eat some of what’s on that plate. Being in america does not make you an american. Being born in america does not make you an american Proud it where ever you from.
When I Was Studying in School Days My Teachers Were Wearing Sun Glasses. You Know Why? Because, . . I Was a BRIGHT STUDENT.
Un twirling the twine that un twisteth between, He twirls, with his twister, the two in a twine; Then twice having twisted the twines of the twine, He twitcheth the twice he had twined in twain.